I’m guilty as charged. I pick the green M&Ms out of the bag because I think they have special “powers.” Yes, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Many of us have these superstitions surrounding sex and the like, but when we separate fact from fiction, which ones are actually true? Wait no more! I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 sex myths and have demystified them for you! That’s right, I’ve done all the “dirty work” so you don’t have to… Top 10 Sex Myths 10. Drinking milk will make a woman’s breasts grow. Hah, so False When Wisteria, 15, of Salem, Mass asked Cosmogirl if milk would make her boobs grow, she was probably thinking of the long touted slogan “milk does a body good.” But her real question was will it do her boobs good? While bovine milk makes calves grow, and your mom’s milk made you grow, there’s nothing in it that’ll make the girls’ breasts grow! Only time, not milk, will fill those cups of yours. 9. Your doctor will know if you’ve had sex. Mostly False If you’re a girl, going for that first OB/GYN appointment can be scary as hell. However, there’s no reason to believe that your doctor is a palm reader (of sorts). If you’re afraid that once your doc gets a glimpse of you, she/he’ll also get a glimpse of your sexual history…don’t fret. Doctors can’t really tell if you’ve had sex. “She’ll probably suspect it,” says Larrian Gillespie, M.D. a Californian urogynecologist, “because in a routine exam, she’ll noted that your hymen is broken or stretched.” However, that can happen from tampons or being really active. If you are going in for that appointment though, you should own up to your past so that she can prescribe you birth control so nothing else causes you to stretch down there—like babies! 8. You can’t get pregnant if you have sex while menstruating. Not Totally True So there’s that rumor going around that when a girl is on the rag, she can’t get pregnant. Unfortunately, it’s not entirely true. “It’s possible,” says Robert Zurawin, obstetrician and fertility specialist for BabyCenter.com. Ovulations can actually occur before the period has stopped, or it could even occur within a few days after it’s finished. Womens’ bodies are very tricky things, so be careful and always use protection! 7. Guys and girls reach their sexual peak at different ages. Yup, it’s True Now don’t go getting this confused with how active someone is! This only has to do with how many sexual hormones men and women have at different periods of their lives. Men reach their sexual peak at 18, while women reach theirs at 28, reports MensHealth.com “But peak hormones don’t mean peak sexual performance,” says Marc Goldstein, M.C., a professor of reproductive medicine and urology at Cornell University's Weill Medical College. So younger, or older, isn’t necessarily better. You’ll just have to find the good stuff on your own! 6. Virgins can’t reach excitement on their own. Duh, so False Uhm, hello… we all know the answer to this one. Of course virgins can reach the big “O!” If you’ve ever gotten it on with your bad self, then you know this to be true. 5. You’re only a virgin if you haven't had vaginal intercourse. Again, False “What about the people who have same sex relationships?” asksBy Natasha Ramsey, 16, to SexEtc.org. Exactly! If you want to limit your definition of what virginity and being a “virgin” is, then keep in mind who you are limiting in the process. Virginity, as Natasha describes it, “is vague and all depends on the person—their morals, values and personal views.” Amen. 4. Getting it on in hot water will kill your dude’s “dudes.” Surprisingly True When the heat’s on, sperm is turned off. In fact, sperm can die in hot water (like a hot tub or shower), but that doesn’t mean that a girl can’t still get pregnant—if you know, she so happens to be enjoying that shower too. According to Dr. Pryor of MensHealth.com, it still isn’t an effective method of birth control. 3. It’s abnormal to have uneven body parts. Such lies Remember Molly Shannon as Mary Katherine Gallagher in “Superstar” when she’s in front of the mirror? “My big boobs, this one is bigger than this one 'cause this is the mommy and that's the baby. And this one is very nice to this one and they hold hands because they're FRIENDS!” It’s funny because it’s true! Whether you’re a guy or a girl, no two body parts are exactly the same. Ears, eyes, feet. So when Josh, 17, of Virginia Beach, VA asked Cosmogirl.com if it’s normal that one of his testicals was bigger than the other, they responded with a resounding yes! In fact, he’s got pretty big ones for asking a girl’s magazine about his nether region. Wow. 2. Looking at a guy’s feet, you can tell the size of his…We wish, but False Yeah, you know you’ve done it. You’ve either looked or compared. But it’s false, false, false. It’s one of the oldest myths out there, but that doesn’t stop you from checking out a crush now does it? “There is no relationship between body shape, foot, or hand size, to the size of a man’s penis,” says Kate Grossman, M.D. and medical director for About.com So you can look if you want to, but you won’t know until you’ve really looked. 1. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac. True because you make it so That’s right. If you eat chocolate and you find yourself riled, then it has a lot more to do with you than that Hershey’s bar. The New York Times reports that “scientists ascribe the aphrodisiac qualities of chocolate, if any, to two chemicals it contains. One, tryptophan, is a building block of serotonin, a brain chemical involved in sexual arousal. The other, phenylethylamine, a stimulant related to amphetamine, is released in the brain when people fall in love.” However, the affect that it actually has on you is limited. A chocolate kiss can only do so much, but a real one…well, you know the truth to that one.
Getting A Date. Why Is It So Hard?
Garlic breath. It’s the ultimate aphrodisiac. Combine that with dog poop on your shoes, pussing zits on your face, and a stalker personality and you have a winning combination. You agree of course. I mean, who wouldn’t love that? Right… so, unless you’re attempting to ward off Nosferatu, it’s pretty common knowledge that you don’t want to be walking around like this—especially in front of your crush. That being said, making a good impression is undeniably important when you want to ask someone out. This doesn’t mean that you should go out of your way to be someone that you’re not, but just that the amount of self-respect you have for yourself reflects how much effort you’re willing to put towards them as well. So when it comes down to asking yourself why you can’t get a date, sometimes it’s necessary to be brutally honest with yourself: Are you bringing sexy back? “First meetings are powerful,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D. “they often set the course for the entire relationship.” So before you become frazzled from unnecessary pressure that you’re putting on yourself, keep in mind that asking someone out is a simple thing that you’re going to do many times in your life. Sure it doesn’t necessarily get easier with time, but the best thing you can do is be prepared. Approach your crush with confidence. If you assume that the person you want to ask out is going to say no before you even ask them, chances are you’re right. If they have a bf/gf already, or have expressed that they’re just not that in to you, they’re almost definitely going to say no. But a lack of confidence could be a date killer as well. Think about it, if someone walked up to you, tail between their legs and could barely make out the words of “Want to grab lunch this week?,” you’re probably going to wonder if they’rereally interested or why they can’t carry themselves like they’re serious. Yes, shyness can be cute and endearing, but if you approach your crush like you’re worthy of saying yes, chances are they’ll be more likely to answer yes. That’s why the sexiest trait you can have is confidence. That doesn’t always mean that if your face is so greasy that it looks like you exfoliate with a frying pan that people are going to ignore your appearance. Having self-respect for yourself means trying to present your best side, as well as striving to be your best self. Now that I’ve told you that, forget everything I just told you. That’s right. Once you like yourself, you won’t need to worry about whether or not you can get a date. “Confidence is projected when you aren't particularly feeling the need for your date to like you,” says Natalie Staats Reiss, Ph.D., “and instead are wondering if you like him or her.” When you focus on what you want and need, and direct your energy towards that, chances are that you’ll attract it. And as far as attraction goes, how well you carry yourself says a lot about who you are personally. If you walk around like you’re hot, even if you don’t feel like you are, you’ll still give off the vibe to other people and helping them see it too. “How confident and self-possessed you appear to be to others you are interested in dating is a far more important determinant of how sexy you will be perceived to be than most all other aspects of your appearance,” says Reiss. Don’t get caught up on people who aren’t caught up on you. After all, why would you want to be with anyone who didn’t want to be with you? Sometimes people just don’t click, so don’t let it get you down if rejection does happen. Keep in mind that there have probably been times when someone’s asked you out that you just weren’t interested in, or that it just wasn’t a good time for you. So, don’t take an answer of “no” personally when it could very well be that the person has extremely bad taste. Don’t be afraid to be bold and get yourself out there in the dating scene. “The thing about waiting passively for someone to approach you is that most of the time no one will,” says Reiss, “not because there is anything necessarily wrong with you, but because you have not made yourself approachable and/or noticeable.” So if you’re wondering why you can’t get a date when you’re not even trying to get one, then you really can’t complain. Never let anyone make you feel bad about being yourself. If you stay true to who you are, then you’re going to attract someone who appreciates you for you. In the end, if all else fails, just remember that it’s not you, it’s them.
Is This Really What I Want To Do For The Rest Of My Life?
First it was Drama, then Architecture and Interior Design. Nope, those wouldn’t do, I thought. So, I quickly moved on to Philosophy and Psychology, but I still wasn’t satisfied. I dabbled in Screenwriting, committed to Film, and finally threw in Journalism on top of everything at the last minute. When it came to picking my major in college, I was all over the place. I changed my mind as many times as I possibly could before someone finally told me that I wouldn’t graduate on time if I didn’t stop.
I’ve never been that person who knew exactly what she wanted—the one thing that stood out above everything else—and could fully commit to it. No, I wanted it all. I was always envious of my friends who could say “this is it for me,” and just have faith in that. I wanted to have everything figured out, but the truth is that I didn’t. And, the bigger truth is that no one has to have it all figured out when they go to college.
Committing to a college major is hard, but committing to something you’re going to do for the rest of your life is just plain painful. It’s an ungodly amount of pressure. That is, unless you know that it’s the only thing you can do—the only thing that will make you happy and make you feel fulfilled. Obviously, for me this wasn’t the case.
“What we're finding is that kids are taking, on average, two more years to finish a four-year degree," says Amy Erickson, a Certified College Planning Specialist tells SmartMoney.com, "and that could be another $100,000, just to get a bachelor's degree." So, for someone like 17-year-old Tina Gholami, indecision can be costly. “I had a lot of interests,” says Gholami, “and it was kind of hard to focus on one area to major in over the next four years.”
Choosing A Major
When you’re searching for the right major, there are some important questions that you should ask yourself. Gary Anderson, former college Career Center Director,suggest following these steps to help you make your decision:
Step 1:
Look back at which high school courses you’ve enjoyed and done well in, this might help point you in the right direction and allow you to put something on your admissions application about having prior experience in the field.
Step 2:
Consider what the requirements are for your major. Will you need to do more than a four year degree? If so, is it something that you’re willing to invest your time in? Take for example medical and business related fields. Choosing a major in a field that requires more of a college commitment than you are willing to invest in probably should be avoided.
Step 3:
Check out the courses and professors in your major’s department to see if they interest you. Be careful though, these might vary from school to school. However, on the whole if you find yourself interested in the subject, chances are it’s for you.
Step 4:
Do internships! This is a "hands-on" way to get a feel for the kinds of jobs you could get with your potential college major.
Step 5:
Look at the different work fields to which your college major can lead to. Try to choose a major that will offer flexibility when you are looking for a job.
Step 6:
Think about the growth of the career field that interests you. Is the field dynamic and growing, or is it hard to find a job in that field?
Even if you enter college and you’re still undecided, keep in mind that many college students don’t have to officially declare their major until their junior year. While knowing your major before you apply for colleges will help you choose the best school for your interests, it’s not a requirement if you’re still undecided. Many colleges and universities devote a certain amount of undergraduate classes to liberal arts (or general studies) education to not only help round out a student’s education, but to open their eyes to other interests that they might not have considered before.
"Core classes give each student a common base of knowledge and skills that are important and crucial for [all] students," says Reverend Richard Hockman, a professor of effective oral communications at King's College. "They present students with an overview of areas--ones they might consider for a major." Also, keep in mind that many schools allow you to have more than one major, and even minor in other subjects. By taking advantage of this, you can help alleviate the pressure of having to choose just one major.
I chose to combine different majors to create something unique for my field. I had already declared my major as Film, but I knew that I wanted to be writer as well. This is when I took up Journalism—something that my parents were in support of because they viewed it as being more “practical.” However, for me it meant that I had a focus when I entered the entertainment journalism industry. That perhaps one day I could review films like I always wanted to do. By combining majors, not only was I prepared for each field directly, but it also gave me more opportunities on the whole.
In the end, while you want to prepare as much as you can for whatever field you choose to enter, make sure you also leave yourself room to grow. You may find, much like I did, that over time your interests change—that while you once were very passionate about a subject, you discover one that’s more appealing to you.
"People change their mind as they experience these new alternatives and learn new skills and develop new interests,” says John Krumboltz, professor of education and psychology at Stanford University and author of the book Luck is No Accident: Making the Most of Happenstance in Your Life and Career. “Therefore, trying to declare an occupational goal at age 16 is absurd.”
It only makes sense that when you’re trying to create a future for yourself that you keep yourself in mind throughout the process. Never pin yourself down to something that someone else wants you to do—it is your life—so leave opportunities open. "The world is changing, there are new jobs being created, there are old jobs disappearing and there are new opportunities occurring," says John Krumboltz, so take advantage of them!
busted
